PREFACE
With this present volume, we continue the publication of the counsels of the Blessed Elder Paisios with themes on the family and the ordeals people undergo caused by the crisis the institution of family faces in our times. The Elder used to say that the majority of the letters he received were from people who had family problems. He attributed these problems to people having withdrawn from God and to their self-centreredness. “In the old days,” he would say, “life was more peaceful and serene; people had patience. Nowadays, everyone has got a short fuse - people flare up right away; no one can tell them anything. And then, automatically, they go straight for divorce.”
From early on, the Elder took an active role within the great family of the Church, as he felt that he no longer belonged to his own small family. He acquired divine love and became a child of God. This is why he felt all people to be his brothers, and loved each and every one “with the affection of Christ Jesus” (Phil 1:8). He used to say to us, “When I see an old man, I say that he is my father. When I see an old woman, I say that she is my mother. When I see a young child, I see that child as my brother’s child. I love everyone. For some I feel glad and for others I feel pain. Do you know what this is?” So, according to each one’s circumstances, he would become their child, brother, father, grandfather. It was the sincerity of his love which helped whoever came to him to undergo the good transformation, to accept the word of God and to live accordingly. As a member of the Body of Christ, he not only prayed with pain for those who faced problems in their families, but he also helped with his advice, when it was asked for, for even the most private aspects of family life, even though he himself lived as an ascetic.
Having been tested in the “fires of temptation” and the furnace of illness -Father Paisios had fallen ill on various occasions from 1947 until 1994 when he fell asleep in the Lord- he suffered together with each afflicted person, praying with pain for them. As for his own health, he only did the very least necessary so that he could be self-sufficient and be able to serve those who came to visit him. He believed that if he were indifferent to his own pain, that it would move God to hear his prayer for all the other sick people. At the same time, he urged all the sick to do all that was humanly possible to regain their health and to leave the rest to God. At the same time, he empowered their faith and encouraged them to face their illness with hope in God, and to not forget that in this life we are all “aliens and exiles” (1 Pet 2:11) preparing for the eternal life.
This volume -published with the blessing of our Archshepherd, His Eminence Metropolitan Nicodemos of Kassandreia- comprises an introductory chapter and six parts. Many of its themes emanate from conversations held between the Elder and the Abbess, and with some of the Sisters. Even though, in deference to the Elder’s recommendations and principles, we normally direct those who ask for spiritual help to their own Spiritual Father, people would frequently -and still do- communicate the urgency of some pressing problem with the Abbess or some senior Sister, expressing their suffering and asking for advice. Sometimes, in order to be sure that our response to a grave problem or difficult issue was correct, we consulted the Elder, who provided us with the proper and godly response for each case. During the Assemblies of the Monastic Community and the private conversations with the Sisters, the Elder himself, using some incident from our common life or from a question of ours, was accustomed to pointing out the various difficulties faced by laypeople. He did this so that we would pray all the more fervently for the people in the world. He also cited examples of men who were the head of their household and of mothers who may not have had the spiritual opportunities of a monastic individual, yet lived holy lives. And this was how he motivated us to continue our struggle with greater philotimo1. Some of these themes were supplemented with excerpts from the letters of the Elder, which were given to us by priests and devout lay people.
In order to help the young who are struggling to decide which path of life they should follow, this fourth volume begins with the introductory chapter entitled: “The Young Facing the Two Paths of Life.” This chapter emphasizes that both these paths of life -married and monastic- as curved by the Church, are blessed. The young, depending on their natural inclination, their strength and philotimo, should choose one of these two paths on their own and with trust in God. The key to their progress is to live a chaste and spiritual life in whichever path they choose.
The first part of this book designates the foundations of family to be noble love and mutual trust between the spouses. Forbearance, when accompanied by prayer, can save a family from falling apart in times of hardship.
The second part focuses on the parents’ obligations and responsibilities for their children’s proper nurturing, placing special emphasis on the importance of the good example, the parents’ “silent exhortation” toward the children and the mother’s role. This part of the book also illustrates how important it is for parents to provide their children with tender love and care, both being crucial elements for their normal development.
The third part discusses childhood, the joys and difficulties from infancy to adulthood, as well as the children’s obligation toward their parents. The children’s lifelong respect and love for their parents ensure the blessing of God.
The fourth part of the book provides simple and practical advice on how to live a spiritual life within the family. In this way, children and parents are guided in living their life day by day according to the Gospel, whether they are at home or at work, which should contribute -as much as possible- to their godly perfection and not suffocate them with constant anxiety.
In the fifth part, which relates the various trials and hardships people face in their life, the emphasis is on how much consolation and power are given by God to those who confront these difficulties not only with patience, but also with doxology. Illness, disability, slander can be a blessing for those who have grasped the more profound meaning of life. By undergoing hardships, one can settle sins or save up for a heavenly reward.
Finally, the sixth part contains themes on how to properly confront death and prepare for it. The Elder sheds light on the true consolation of those mourning the death of their loved ones, and emphasizes that the memorials, prayers and works of mercy (such as charity) are of great aid to those who have fallen asleep in the Lord. He presents a simple, yet vivid image of the future Judgment and the eternal life.
On the one hand, the themes of this volume can help those who are struggling in the world, in order to continue “the good fight” (1 Tim 6:12) with greater zeal. On the other hand, these themes can awaken the conscience of people who are far from God and are enduring hardships, so that they may resolve to become conscientious members of the Church and enjoy, within the small community of their family, the peace and comfort provided by spiritual life. At the same time they emphasise that, in marriage, all the commandments of God must be observed which, after all, “are not grievous” (1 John 5:3). If, for example, each spouse is willing to sacrifice his own will and be obedient, he will not feel oppressed because the sacrifice will emanate out of love for the other and will provide him with a sweet inner consolation.
Perhaps the contemporary person, accustomed to the “slack laws” of our present-day society, may view some of the Elder’s positions as being rigid and unenforceable; however, if his teachings are considered on the basis of the Gospel, one will realize that they are indeed its exact expression. The Elder is always seeking our perfection in Christ. But with his illumined pastoral care, he is most forbearing before human weakness, making use of “economy”2, without, of course, consenting to sin. Through examples, with references to how life was in time past, he tries to provide contemporary people with the opportunity to understand that God is a living God Who “worketh all in all” (1 Cor 12:26). God is not found only in the future life as a wage payer and a giver of rewards, but He also found in the present life, as a loving Father. Nonetheless, people must show a good disposition through their own small struggles. They will labour little, but receive much. However, the effort must be made so as to give God the “right” to intervene with much help in one’s life.
We would like to thank those who read the manuscript of this volume, and quite respectfully contributed to its completion.
We pray that these spiritual counsels of the Elder will help the family, which, especially today, is undergoing a crisis due to the fact that the commandments of God are being scorned and obliterated. We pray that the family will find its true destiny within the bosom of the Church, so that parents and children can have a foretaste of Paradise even in this life.
September 16, 2002
Commemoration of the Great Martyr Euphemia
The Abbess of the Holy Hesychasterion
Mother Philothei
and with me, the Sisters in Christ
__________
1. Philotimo, according to Elder Paisios, is the pious distillation of goodness, the spontaneous love shown by humble people, from which every trace of self has been filtered out. Their hearts are full of gratitude towards God and their fellow men and, out of spiritual sensitivity, they try to repay the slightest good that others do for them.
2. In ecclesiastical language, the term “economy” expresses the deviation from the exactness of the rule, which the Church decides according to the prototype of God’s own infinite condescension, when She determines that this is for our spiritual benefit.
Ελληνικά
German
Română
French
Login